


a history of 'i love you's

by kontj (kaguol)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:13:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28287528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaguol/pseuds/kontj
Summary: the many times tsukishima had the chance to say ‘i love you’ (but he didn’t) and the one time he did (took him long enough).
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 49





	a history of 'i love you's

When you’re four years old, you don’t really have much to work with when it came to love.

Love came in the form of ice cream on a hot sunny day. It came in a blue room with glow in the dark stickers and night lights. Love was simple – a peck on the cheek before heading out to school, and one snuck in the kitchen counter when the kids were fast asleep.

For Tsukishima Kei, it was all of that with a side of the new picture books his father bought him from his last trip. The book had cross section of the dinosaurs that revealed more of its interior as you flipped the page. It was absolutely breathtaking – and he had brought it along with him everywhere.

He was too engrossed in the vivid pictures to notice the pair of eyes staring up at him in awe. It wasn’t until their teacher called out their names did he snap his head back to attention, brown eyes wide as he tried to remember what the topic was all about.

“Tsukishima-kun loves dinosaurs!”

A voice piped up beside him, their teacher raising an eyebrow for confirmation from the blond. Tsukishima couldn’t help the smile on his face as he excitedly nodded, and babbled about his favorite one. It took a forcefully chipper question to his seatmate to have the blond calm down. He turned then, taking into the appearance of his seatmate – with glittering eyes and a wide smile, a hand pointing at him as a high voice yelled out a response.

“I love Tsukishima-kun!”

The class carried on without a hitch then, their teacher opting to pat the child’s head with a fond smile. After all, you were just four years old, and the love you knew were of the things that made life happy for you.

But that didn’t stop the young boy to mull over the words in his head, and when it was time to leave, he caught your arm with his just as you were about to run into the arms of your awaiting parent.

“You love me like I love dinosaurs?”

His statement was met with a smile and a furious nod.

“You must love me a lot…” he mumbled, feeling a bit guilty. “But… I love you only a little bit.”

His lips trembled, eyes threatening to spill, when his hand was enveloped with two. Sniffling, he raised his head, to be met with a softer smile that lifted whatever deflated spirit he had.

“Don’t mind, Tsukishima-kun!” With a gap-toothed grin and kind eyes, you let the words fall from your mouth without hesitation, shocking the parents and guardians around to hear.

“You’ll just marry me then!”

That was your way of securing a friendship with the dinosaur fanatic, and later on, with the boy with stars on his face.

You had forgotten this incident, what with your easily distracted mind, but it was still imprinted in your parents’ minds, as well as on the photo album.

With twelve more candles on his cake, and a lot of centimeters in his stature, you’d think that Tsukishima would have a greater understanding of what love is. Alas, he had no interest in the whole debacle, preferring to sit back and observe the throes of teenagers swapping scented paper and rouge packages.

“Tsukishima-kun!”

He let out a sigh, the faraway voice echoing louder with each step. Turning around in his seat, he was met with an open palm and a triumphant grin.

“Hand ‘em over!”

Tsukishima raised an eyebrow at Yamaguchi who could only offer a shrug behind you. You gasped, clutching your heart as the two boys stared at you and each other dumbfoundedly.

“How dare you not bring me chocolates!” Ruffling in your bag, you brought out two boxes of sweets, packaged as neatly as you could – which wasn’t much, but it looked presentable, Tsukishima thought.

Yamaguchi lit up, simultaneously thanking, and apologizing as he sheepishly offered a bag of chips in lieu of sweets. This appeased you then, but you shot a glare at the blond, making a point to turn away in a huff as class began to start.

Though Tsukishima rolled his eyes at your childish attempt at a cold shoulder, he couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty when he arrived home, seeing the contents of the box you handed to them.

The chocolates where shaped like miniature footprints – a mix between canine pawprints, and what he presumed was your version of dinosaur ones. It brought a smile to his face as he bit into the treat, finding the slight tang of strawberries mixing quite well with chocolate.

He sighed, putting away the sweets and turning to his laptop. After cross-referencing recipes, he scoured the kitchen for ingredients, before making his way to the convenience store.

As he waited in line, he would the rows of ready-made chocolate, of different flavors, shapes, and sizes. Looking down at his basket, he knew that the smart choice would be to simply buy them and repackage them someway.

But he was already here, and it would be a hassle to return all the items. So he looked away from the shelf, and emptied his month’s savings on baking ingredients.

With deft hands and precise measurements, he experimented with the ratios of the ingredients, making small batches, and comparing one with the other.

His brother volunteered somewhere along the way, and was shut down with a glare and choice words. Akiteru left the kitchen with a pout, but couldn’t help the fond smile on his face when he saw his brother knit his eyes in concentration at his creation.

Tsukishima himself knew that all the effort wasn’t really necessary – after all, you were fine with the chips that Yamaguchi brought along. It was a matter of _pride_ , obviously.

He just didn’t want to be trumped by the fact that you had taken time into making him and Yamaguchi something so delectable, without them returning the favor. Not that it was exceptionally _good_ or anything, but he wanted the satisfaction that he could make better chocolates than you could.

The morning couldn’t come any earlier, and he made his way to school much earlier than usual. As the day passed, he found himself glancing in your direction. After all, he was only imagining the utter defeat on your face when you realize that your delicious sub-par chocolates were _nothing_ compared to his.

You caught him then, when he was lost in his mind with his eyes pinned on you. True to nature, you stuck your tongue out at him, earning a scoff and a signature Tsukishima Kei eye-roll.

As the seconds ticked until the final bell, Tsukishima caught himself bouncing his foot impatiently. He schooled his features back into indifference and tried his hardest to restrain himself from dragging you outside the second class was dismissed.

With Yamaguchi out of school for a doctor’s appointment, the road home was devoid of the usual banter of things Tsukishima wasn’t as fond of. It was filled with a silence that neither of you minded, your footsteps being the soundtrack to the everyday occurrence.

But today, with his schoolbag a hundred times heavier on his shoulder, he wondered if the peaceful atmosphere was broken by the restless beat of his heart. He stopped and took in a shuddering breath, your figure taking a few steps ahead before realizing that for once, it was Tsukishima who had yet to catch up to you.

“Oi.”

You turned, barely catching what he had chucked into your direction. With a shake, you broke out into a smile when you realized what they were. He stepped closer to you, staring at your face as you carefully unwrapped the mustard yellow packaging, revealing several chocolates in the shape of bunnies.

“Suffice to say I win this time – ”

You effectively shut the boy up by wrapping your arms around his slender frame, pulling away just as quickly and stuffing a chocolate bunny into your mouth.

“Whoa, Tsukishima-kun, these are good!”

“Of course, they are. I made them myself.”

You tilted your head back, a roar of laughter escaping your lips. “That’s a good one, Tsukishima-kun!”

He sighed, reaching for the chocolates before you spun away.

“I don’t even know why I bother with you,” he muttered, rolling his eyes as you happily chomped on the sweets.

“You love me anyway.”

Your words were met with scoff and a playful shrug, as the two of you made your way home, your teasing added to the orchestra of the afternoon.

“I hate you.”

“Love you too, Tsukishima-kun.”

The sun casted a golden glow on the earth, and with a glance at your puffed cheeks and bright eyes, he felt his chest constrict with such powerful longing it surprised even him.

But there was warm glow around you, and he couldn’t help but let his guard down, entertaining the thought that if this was love – the weakness in his knees and the hammering of his heart – then he wouldn’t mind sharing it with you.

* * *

High school was nearly over and done with – and Tsukishima had racked up the centimeters have him absolutely tower over you and Yamaguchi. You had become a permanent face in the volleyball club, being a helping hand to Yachi in her managerial duties.

Your voice had become easy to pick out even in the middle of a match. Even without looking, Tsukishima could imagine the way your face would scrunch in concentration, holding your breath during the rally. Tears and laughter had been shed alongside you, extending your friendship to the duo that made up the infamous Freak Quick that instilled fear into the hearts of volleyball players in the prefecture.

With an infectious laugh and soulful eyes, it was no question that you had garnered your own line of suitors. And now, with graduation right around the corner, he had become more and more aware of the many minutes he had spent waiting near the gates, just so you could turn down another confession.

On the day of graduation, out of the corner of his eye, he had seen you slip away from the venue. Weaving his way through the crowd, he followed you out into the gardens, and found you looking up at the sky a peaceful smile on your face.

“Surprised to see you out here all alone.”

You stuck your tongue out at him, but made no move to push him away as the blond took a seat next to you.

The wind whispered to the grass, lightly sending leaves up to dance as the two of you breathed in the final moments of your teenage life. In a few weeks, the two of you would be off to different universities, and that this would be the last time in a while that you’d be able to see the walking salt shaker that was called Tsukishima Kei.

“A nice place to confess,” he mumbled, cursing himself for letting the words escape his lips and praying for the wind to take it away.

“So cruel, Tsukishima-kun.”

Your voice was no more than a whisper, but it cut through the air like a bullet. Yet you turned to him, with a smile on your face that betrayed the pool of tears behind your eyes.

**“’I love you’ isn’t supposed to be said like a good bye.”**

Tsukishima turned away, unable to meet your eyes as he felt his heart sink into the ground. He couldn’t do anything else, but nod, the next words spoken without their usual ire.

“I won’t say it then.”

If he looked then, he would’ve seen the silent tears rolling down your face. And if you listened, you would’ve heard his heart shatter in his ribcage, the sound echoing through the many years he had the chance – but backed away in fear.

You stood, holding out your hand to him, your lips etched into a smaller smile in a silent invitation.

He took it – your hand and whatever reprieve you offered that he knew he didn’t deserve.

He let you drag him into the small get together you had with the rest of the graduating members of the volleyball club, keeping his own snide comments to himself.

Yamaguchi saw the tense set in his best friend’s jaw, and the feigned cheer you had put on. He had known the two of you for so long that it was easy to pick up the subtle differences in character – and it was clear to him that something that shifted between you both. He could only offer a pat on the Tsukki’s back, knowing that this was something that he had to figure out for himself.

But before he could do anything about the tightness in his chest, you were whisked away by the call of academe – and he followed suit. His life in university became an endless stream of new experiences – with new people and new dynamics. But as quickly as it came, it descended into a quiet pattern of monotony that he quickly adapted to.

For the next couple of years, he buried himself into his studies, racking up sleepless nights and spending countless hours training alongside a new volleyball team.

He never expected to see his first love again.

Though he never expected it, he still longed for it. He dreamt of rekindling the fire with you, taking you aside from a high school reunion and finally pressing his lips against yours. Or accidentally spilling your coffee during the rush hour and catching up on a date about town.

Waking up to a pounding head and you in his favorite dinosaur shirt was definitely not what he had expected.

You threw your head back, and his heart soared as you laughed at his disheveled state. His heart hadn’t forgotten what it felt like, but hearing it in person was nothing short of a delight.

As beautiful as the metaphor was, it still sent jolts of pain through his brain.

You bit your lip, handing him painkillers and a glass of water. When the ache finally dulled down, he looked around at the mess of a room and shot you a knowing look. You flashed him a mischievous smirk, stifling your laughter when his eyes widened at the realization.

“How much do you remember?”

Tsukishima collapsed into the sheets, a sigh escaping his lips. “Besides getting utterly smashed? Not much.”

You grinned. “Not even the cute bartender?”

He had a vague recollection of a black shirt and beautiful hands sliding him drinks across the counter, and a fuzzy moment where he had recognized the warm eyes and kind smile.

“Did this supposed cute bartender take me home?”

“Well you wouldn’t leave without me, so really, the cute bartender didn’t have much of a choice.”

“And did I end up… doing anything with the cute bartender?”

You looked at him then, and saw the furious blush on his face and his averted eyes. Your felt your heart go into overdrive as you gazed upon him – the sun hitting the covers and setting a glow that put Greek paintings to shame. There was a tranquility in the air, as he waited on your next words.

“Well, I carried you most of the way, and your way of thanks was to throw up all over my clothes.”

Tsukishima shut his eyes, praying for the ground to swallow him whole. He muffled a groan as you began to detail the rest of the night, the details matching up with the fog in his mind.

“Disappointed by your lack of action, Tsukishima-kun?” You wiggled your eyes suggestively, stifling your cackle with the back of your hand.

“Not really.”

“Cruel, cruel man.” Your words were sufficient as a reply, a smooth cover up with the brief flash of disappointment and relief that crossed your face. As you stood, making excuses to end the conversation and to get some breakfast – the words that came from the man in the bed effectively stopped you in your tracks.

“I’d like to be sober when I’m making love to my first.”

It was the tiniest thing – using those two words instead of the usual vulgar ones. The way his voice softened, yet was loud enough to make sure you heard. Your lips broke into a smile as your chest bloomed with a warmth that you had longed oh so long ago.

You opened your mouth, a thousand thoughts and come backs racing through your brain. But all that came out was a cut off snicker.

“I knew it.”

You released a shuddering breath and laughed – at the many years of pining and longing and sad music on rainy days. The many years of dropping hints in not-so-subtle ways, and the fear that he had realized it too late. You laughed, at the sheer ridiculousness of it all.

“You _love_ me.”

“Jesus, here I am, pouring my heart out, and you _mock_ me.” Tsukishima tried his best to keep his face disappointed, but the warmth in his cheeks and the music of your mirth won over the façade. He let out a wheeze as you plopped yourself onto the bed, your arms wrapping around his neck.

“This better not be a dream.” Your voice was a whisper as you gazed into the eyes of the first person you had fallen in love with – and had been in love with since. It was then when the reality of your situation finally settled in, and you couldn’t help the tremble in your lips as you stared at him in awe.

He brought a hand to your face, his eyes trailing over every crevice of your face as you rested your cheek on the calloused hand.

“You told me that I shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ like good bye,” he began, as he leaned in to kiss the tears that slowly rolled down your face. His lips were soft and feathery on your skin – a thousand times better than whatever fantasy you conjured in your head.

**“So, let it be our new hello.”**


End file.
